For Christmas we got an air popper for our popcorn. Avali was so excited when she got to watch the popcorn flying out of the machine. As we were sitting there a bit later eating our popcorn… she had a suggestion. ”Mom, we could put apple seeds in there and make little apples in it!” How adorable! The age of innocence!!
I have been trying to post on here when the kids say something hilarious. Those are the things that I just don’t want to foget… ever! Well of course there have been tons of things that I wanted to post, and haven’t… *crying now* But this is one story from Ava that just can’t be forgotten!
One day a couple of weeks ago, she came up to me and explained why and when you need to pick your nose. ”When your nose is the leaking kind you can blow it, but when it’s not the leaking kind then you have to pick it.” I thought I was going to die laughing! I tried to explaid to her that you shouldn’t pick your nose, but she was very adamant about her theory. So instead of arguing with her I told her if your nose isn’t leaky and you need to pick it you have to do it in the bathroom, with a tissue, door closed and wash your hands when you’re done. ??? What is a person supposed to say to this stuff?!
Well, it happened in The Christmas Story and people make jokes about it. It ranks right up there with window licking in the gross/weird things kids do factor…. Yup I’m talking about sticking your tongue to cold metal. Today as we were leaving Wally World, I was putting Cooper in his carseat and left Ava to her own devices for just a couple seconds. Sure enough, curiosity got to her and she stuck her tongue to the cart return! 7 degrees BELOW zero, and before I even knew she did it, she pulled it off by herself! She didn’t cry and she got in the van and said,
“Mom, it didn’t stay there, it came off.”
I asked, “What came off, What are you talking about?”
“My tongue, it didn’t stay there.”
Me: “Did you stick your tongue on something cold?”
Ava: “No, only a little, it was an accident.”
Me: “Oh no, Ava did you stick your tongue where the carts go? Let me see your tongue…”
Ava: Instantly crying, “Yeah I did right there… See….” and sticks out her tongue.
Around our house one of the dumb things I say that totally motivates our girls is, “Thanks! You rock!” This can be used when one of the kids finishes their supper, when they brush their teeth, clean their toys, get dressed… pretty much anything. Last week one day, I told Ava that she rocked because she got dressed for school right away like I had asked. (This may seem small, but around here that is a huge feat!) Fast forward a few minutes to Ella getting up. I over hear Ava talking to Ella quietly, “Ella, today is my day to rock. Ok? You can rock tomorrow. Today I just wanna rock, not you, not Daddy, not Cooper, not Mommy, just me today ok?”
Ella… “Umm, ok Aba, you can rock today. I will rock tomowwow.”
“Thanks Ella!”
Ha, yeah! It’s not as exciting as you’re thinking it is! No we don’t have another baby on the way. Avali and Ellison are begging for a new sister. They dont want another brother, they want a sister. Ava has now gone so far as thinking that we can just got to a local doctor and bring one home like we did with Cooper. She’s asked Dad to take her to get a baby sister after golfing with him. She’s told people at stores that she’s looking for clothes for her new baby sister. Of course we know that no baby is complete without a name… are you ready for her suggestions? Sunny, Cloudy, or Little Mermaid. Yuppers! Her favorite is Cloudy! Jay and I joke about having Day as the middle name. Ah yes, Cloudy Day Swenson! Sweet right?
My mom has decided that we’re damaging the kids by telling them things like: Well if you’re not nice to the sister you have, we’re not going to give you another one! And of course the all time perfect Dad line, “Well you have to go to bed on time if you want to get a new sister.” The best part of parenting young kids is that they just don’t “get” a lot of stuff yet! Thank God for that!
Well, no matter how much I wanted to fight it, delay it, deny it… the time is coming! Avali is going to school!
Okay okay, to some of you two days a week may not be all that much… but I’m dying here! What kind of basket case, overprotective mom takes pictures of their kid school shopping for the first time? What kind of mom, I’m horribly embarrassed to admit this, nearly cries…in WALMART… while buying crayons? Well… that would be me.
There are moments where I do feel ready for this. The girls are fighting, a LOT, lately! Whenever one of those fights breaks out I think, “This will be so good for them!” Shortly after though, I just wonder how it is that my first little baby is going to school already! Ava and I had our “special day” today and got to have some one on one time. (Well I offered her one on one time, but she said, “I love Cooper and I want him to come with us” … but that’s what she wanted at least!) Wow what a GIRLY-GIRL she is though!!! She wanted to try on EVERYTHING! And she wanted to buy everything glittery! These are just a sampling of the outfits she modeled for Cooper and me today! You must take note *in the first picture* of the barefoot redneck baby in the cart slurpin his bottle!
… 8 glue sticks…. …. ♫ Lovin the glitter notebook ♫ ….
“I never had one of these before!” And a packer jersey for Dad!!!
The “pose” Holding up well for a full day of shopping!!
I can describe this with words, and I can be elaborate and dramatic… but no matter what no one fully gets just how bad this was.
While on the phone working on our new “park project” (will explain more on that later) my girls were unattended in the kitchen. They were alone for all of 3 or 4 minutes. I’m sure you would fully expect a container of powder to make a huge mess… but this is beyond expectations! Of course when I seen the mess, I decided to go ahead and take a picture! Messes that bad must be documented!!! I came back to the kitchen with the camera and those stinkers were….
Making snow angels!! There really were no words to even begin to describe my thoughts at that point! So, I did what any stay at home mom who has completely lost her mind would do…. laughed! At that point what could really be done?
I honestly believe the things I’ve learned this weekend are things that must be shared! These just arent things that you can find in parenting, diet, or relationship books.
1 ) Once you are a parent, it is ok again to fall asleep with a jar of fireflies. (But only if you have a child with you!) When you wake up and realize what has happened, you will be grossed out and embarrassed that you slept with a jar of bugs in your bed!
2 ) Kids should not be allowed to eat raisins or corn before they are potty trained! This is especially true when you have a baby in cloth diapers. And NEVER EVER allow them to eat both of these forbidden foods on the same day! NEVER!
3 ) When you are remodelling, it will always, and I mean always take longer than expected. When you are remodelling something crucial, like a bathroom… it will take at least twice as long as you expected!
4 ) Diets work… IF you stay on them. However, I have learned that if you reward yourself for going on a walk with something like…..a chocolate shake, you will not lose a damn thing!
5 ) When you have kids fighting over fun colored mini marshmallows, do not be surprised when you hear yourself say, “No! Those do NOT go in the dryer!” Because we all know, that the dryer is the perfect place to hide treasures like these from your sister! (Can we all guess which daughter was hiding them? *Ella* )
6 ) For some strange reason it is absolutely adorable to see a handsome little one year old boy wearing a “Lock up your daughters” shirt… And for some reason, as a mom I was willing to pay money for the shirt to put on him. BUT… in several years he will probably actually deserve a shirt like that… and I will not be so proud!
7 ) Girls can go from being sweet and innocent at age four to being into fashion and accessories in a matter of a week. You will never even know what hit you! Indecisiveness and the NEED to try on 8 swimming suits will make your quick trip to pick up a suit turn into an all afternoon event! But watching her model and shake her booty in the fitting room will have you laughing your butt off… while you try to stop your other child from disappearing under the fitting room door in only her panties!
8 ) You think that after a baby turns one you dont need to worry about infant type things like thrush. BUT at age one, your son can get thrush… and it will hurt as bad as if he were two months!
9 ) When you try to do fun hands on learning things like growing a vegetable garden and um… raising chickens and ducks, do them separately (or at least in separate areas of the yard.) As of right now, the kids have not been able to witness anything actually grow from our garden. The tomatoes and broccoli will get to be about the size of a grape, and the next day they will have completely disappeared. Well, I guess if nothing else they are learning the importance of a fence!
10 ) Back to the chickens and the ducks… when big blue eyes look at you and ask for something as innocent as a baby chick you will have a REALLY hard time telling them no. The result will be three months later having a flock of poultry waddling around your yard. But it will be absolutely priceless to watch the kids chase them, take care of them, and learn how to say chicky and duck way before they would have otherwise!
11 ) You will know when you have a true blue best friend when she drives out of her way to go to your childs lemonade stand, pays your child $1 for a glass of lemonade instead of the .10 she had asked. But beyond that, she drinks the lemonade, comments about how good it is… and then quietly spits out the bits of sand that were in the last sip! (With a smile no less!)
12 ) When shopping for fabric for sundresses to wear camping (so they dont wreck the cute ones), do not let your girls pick out the fabric they want! This is a potentially embarrassing decision because……
your kids will end up wearing something with hideous prints like THESE!!!
And the last thing is too important to even get a number. Something about becoming a parent makes you completely lose your mind! All of a sudden, you are no longer the level headed person who would NEVER have a pet duck. You are no longer the rushed person heading in for one thing at the store and coming out three hours later with “the most perfect” swimming suit (on clearance for $3!) You are no longer the phobic person who constantly uses purel and screeches as the sight of a bug. Now you know a depth of love like no other! You know that you would go to the ends of the earth and beyond if it would put a smile on your childs face. I have learned that living in this house that is just too small for our growing family is absolutely where I am happiest… because this is where my family is. This is where we make unforgettable memories like seeing a bear, chasing fireflies, rolling in the grass, making mudpies, and looking at the stars in our jammas on the deck!
Yesterday, for the first time since last fall, my husband got out the lawnmower! Now to me, this really says, Yay summer is here. BUT, to a four year old girl who doesnt remember what happens after the lawn is mowed… this can be quite an ordeal!
I was in the house cooking supper, and I heard this blood curdling scream coming from Avali. I ran to the door and asked her what was wrong. The poor kid had tears rolling down her face and was just hysterical,
“My toes are green! Look-it!” I, being the incredibly compassionate mom that I am, start laughing at her! I had to explain to her,
“Honey, that’s what happens in the summer, Babe. Everyone gets green toes when they walk in the grass after the lawn is mowed. It’s ok, all we have to do is give you a bath and it will get better.” So she sniffed and wiped her tears, and then looked at me with these pathetic eyes,
“Really” I replied,
“Yup, really, I promise!” Then she says to me,
“Mom do Aryanna’s (her friend) toes get green in the grass mowed too?” (No that’s not a typo, that is exactly how she phased it. What a kid!)
“Yeah, I bet even Aryanna’s toes get green sometimes.” and for some reason, that sealed the deal. She was ok with it all…
“Ok mom” and walked back outside to play.
Ahh the joys of summer!
Sidenote: when we got the tub ready for bath last night there was so much green and dirt that I had to do a prerinse of the kids, then drain what water was in the tub and refill it for bathtime! Gross! When I got Ella undress and put her in the tub, it looked like there was something in her belly button. Upon further inspection, it was a woodtick! (Perfectly at home and nestled in her button!) Nasty!
Again, ahhh the joys of summer!
Today started like any other (well most others) with me and three kids squished into our bed. A sweaty Cooper laying directly next to me, Ava snuggled up so close she was almost on-top of me, and Ella a bit further away… naked. Yes, naked! (Side note, it is NEVER good to find an unpotty trained two year old naked in your bed… NEVER!) Luckily, though, she had not peed! Woo-hooo, the day is starting off great! I got up and started to make the bed… which is when I found her wet diaper in the sheets. Perfect! No pee in the bed AND the missing diaper found right away! Could the day really be starting this well?!?! At that point, I decided that I would uphold my promise to Ava and take the kids out for lunch and to “all the stores” as she had asked.
Three hours, four diaper changes, and 5 changes of clothes later… we’re off! Wow, we’re doing great! So, the plan is… carwash, small shop in town, Subway for lunch, and then the grocery store for some necessities. Carwash went well… clean van… content kids! Off to the ilttle shop in town to find a new bakers rack (thank you kids for breaking ours!) Pretty much as soon as we walked in the door, my Ella turned into a complete monster. I don’t know who’s child I had with me, but she was not the Ella I know! It was one tantrum after another… screaming “Let me down… Noooooo!!!! Put ME DOOOOOWN!!!” So, after she settled, I would put her down, and she’d run away from me. I chase the kid around the store, pick her up and bring her back to the cart… which only brings her to screaming “Let me down!!!” once again. Meanwhile, Ava is walking around “bein’ a good girl” and touching EVERYTHING. (Soooooo NOT being a good girl!) Here I am shopping, “Ava come here, I would like to look at your bakers racks, Ava, I said come here. Ella! Ella get down, that’s it, if you can’t listen mommy’s carrying you. Quiet! Ellison, quiet, you need to stop this… do you want a spank? Oh I like this one, can I get this one please? Oh you only have the display model, yeah that’s fine I can wait, ELLA! Get overhere. Thank you very much, ok come on guys let’s go, good girl Ella, come with mommy, Ava? AVA!! Where are you? Ava you know better than to walk away from mommy. Lets go… FINGERS!” (Fingers, that’s another story) At least Cooper was being a great little guy, sitting so nicely in the cart. The perfect child… for now anyway!
Needless to say, the story doesn’t end there as we did have to go have lunch… at this point it’s already 1:30. Subway went fairly well, had a few little problems… Simple little things like Ella slipping and putting her arm in the toilet… nothing really major though. *Eyes rolling!* But, this is when I decided that I would not be doing any gorcery shopping until Daddy gets home to keep the kids. I just refuse to put myself through that! Not today!
