For a reason I suppose… September 30, 2008

Well we had to know it wouldn’t be long for things to fall through with the house.  Unless something miraculous happens, we won’t be selling the house.  We are both just devastated, and the kids seem disappointed too.  It just seemed like everything was falling into place at just the perfect time, right before our balloon payment was due, just before winter, a house we like is on the market at a great price, good interest rates… I could go on and on.  But I guess there must be a reason that things are turning out this way.  Maybe it’s to give us hope that it will happen someday, maybe it’s because the economy is going to totally fall apart, and this way we will have a nice low house payment here, maybe it’s because it was too damgerous for the kids to be by the river, there has to be something. (I do though, wish I knew what that reason was!)

 

So there it is, a crappy start to another week.  But hey, last week started awesome and turned crazy.  Hopefully this week will start out crappy and turn into a great week!  Let’s hope!!!

Oh Dear Lord, Will it Ever End? August 24, 2008

The funny thing about that title is that all too soon it will end, and then it will mean that my Ella Butt is a big girl.   And so we begin, ANOTHER poop story!   (I should have just called this blog “Shit Tales, by Ella”)

 

Thursday night we left for our family vacation to the Twin Cities.  This is a whole different story.  I just wanted to preface this story by saying we left our house at 7pm thursday night and were gone and BUSY ALLL weekend!  Our last stop was at Walmart, 30 minutes from home, to pick up some groceries.  For some reason, I’m guessing pure exhaustion, Ella has been having more accidents than normal the past couple days.  So, she had peed her panties bit while we were travelling.   I told her we could take them off and that she’d just have to go without panties under her dress until we got home. (Yes, I was THAT prepared!)  At Walmart, we were trying to get everything done as fast as possible.  I was emptying my camera card onto some picture cds, and hubby was off getting “man stuff”.  While selecting pictures I hear Avali say, “Mom, Ella pooped on the floor! Mom, Mom, LOOK!!”   Sure enough, I turn and just in front of our cart, my darling little Ella had dropped a deuce right there on the floor of Walmart electronics department!  Seriously  people, you cant make this stuff up!!!  So i did what every parent would do, grabbed a wet wipe picked it up, dropped it into the nearest trash receptical, and walked away.  (Sorry walmart electronics associates, for the weird smell in your department.  I’m sure no one could even GEUSS that there would be a turd in the can!)

Ahh, yes…  like I said, I’m sure all too soon, this will all just be a faint memory (if that) and she’ll be heading off to school like her big sis.  But for today,  its just another Shit Tale by Ella!

“Like da shickens” August 20, 2008

So, as many of you already know, Ella is our wild child.  We love her to pieces obviously, but she is a wild one.  If someone is going to make a mess, break a bone, or say something that will make your jaw drop.. it will be Ells!

Ella is potty trained now, well for the most part anyway.  She is so stubborn though, that sometimes she just refuses to go in the house to pee, and before I know it she is in a corner of the lawn with her panties around her ankles peeing. Nice huh?  So, two of my day care kiddos were getting dropped of the other day, and the mom said, “Ella did you just pee in the sand box?”  I looked and her was Ella walking away from the sandbox with her panties around her knees… Her response was, “No, so… *insert several shoulder shrugs here* I not.  *very sweet and innocent smile with a few blinks*  “I just pooped, like da shickens.”  Oh yeah, thats my girl!  I had to clean up some chicken poo in the yard this week *gross enough in itself*   so she must have thought it was a good place to go!!!

 

I will spare you a picture!

What I’ve learned… July 14, 2008

I honestly believe the things I’ve learned this weekend are things that must be shared! These just arent things that you can find in parenting, diet, or relationship books.

1 ) Once you are a parent, it is ok again to fall asleep with a jar of fireflies. (But only if you have a child with you!) When you wake up and realize what has happened, you will be grossed out and embarrassed that you slept with a jar of bugs in your bed!

2 ) Kids should not be allowed to eat raisins or corn before they are potty trained! This is especially true when you have a baby in cloth diapers. And NEVER EVER allow them to eat both of these forbidden foods on the same day! NEVER!

3 ) When you are remodelling, it will always, and I mean always take longer than expected. When you are remodelling something crucial, like a bathroom… it will take at least twice as long as you expected!

4 ) Diets work… IF you stay on them. However, I have learned that if you reward yourself for going on a walk with something like…..a chocolate shake, you will not lose a damn thing!

5 ) When you have kids fighting over fun colored mini marshmallows, do not be surprised when you hear yourself say, “No! Those do NOT go in the dryer!” Because we all know, that the dryer is the perfect place to hide treasures like these from your sister! (Can we all guess which daughter was hiding them? *Ella* )

6 ) For some strange reason it is absolutely adorable to see a handsome little one year old boy wearing a “Lock up your daughters” shirt… And for some reason, as a mom I was willing to pay money for the shirt to put on him. BUT… in several years he will probably actually deserve a shirt like that… and I will not be so proud!

 

7 ) Girls can go from being sweet and innocent at age four to being into fashion and accessories in a matter of a week. You will never even know what hit you! Indecisiveness and the NEED to try on 8 swimming suits will make your quick trip to pick up a suit turn into an all afternoon event! But watching her model and shake her booty in the fitting room will have you laughing your butt off… while you try to stop your other child from disappearing under the fitting room door in only her panties!

8 ) You think that after a baby turns one you dont need to worry about infant type things like thrush. BUT at age one, your son can get thrush… and it will hurt as bad as if he were two months!

9 ) When you try to do fun hands on learning things like growing a vegetable garden and um… raising chickens and ducks, do them separately (or at least in separate areas of the yard.) As of right now, the kids have not been able to witness anything actually grow from our garden. The tomatoes and broccoli will get to be about the size of a grape, and the next day they will have completely disappeared. Well, I guess if nothing else they are learning the importance of a fence!

10 ) Back to the chickens and the ducks… when big blue eyes look at you and ask for something as innocent as a baby chick you will have a REALLY hard time telling them no. The result will be three months later having a flock of poultry waddling around your yard. But it will be absolutely priceless to watch the kids chase them, take care of them, and learn how to say chicky and duck way before they would have otherwise!

11 ) You will know when you have a true blue best friend when she drives out of her way to go to your childs lemonade stand, pays your child $1 for a glass of lemonade instead of the .10 she had asked. But beyond that, she drinks the lemonade, comments about how good it is… and then quietly spits out the bits of sand that were in the last sip! (With a smile no less!)

12 )  When shopping for fabric for sundresses to wear camping (so they dont wreck the cute ones), do not let your girls pick out the fabric they want!  This is a potentially embarrassing decision because……

 

your kids will end up wearing something with hideous prints like THESE!!!

And the last thing is too important to even get a number. Something about becoming a parent makes you completely lose your mind! All of a sudden, you are no longer the level headed person who would NEVER have a pet duck. You are no longer the rushed person heading in for one thing at the store and coming out three hours later with “the most perfect” swimming suit (on clearance for $3!) You are no longer the phobic person who constantly uses purel and screeches as the sight of a bug. Now you know a depth of love like no other! You know that you would go to the ends of the earth and beyond if it would put a smile on your childs face. I have learned that living in this house that is just too small for our growing family is absolutely where I am happiest… because this is where my family is. This is where we make unforgettable memories like seeing a bear, chasing fireflies, rolling in the grass, making mudpies, and looking at the stars in our jammas on the deck!

The day poop made my eyes water! April 9, 2008

What is this facsination with poop?  I never, in a million years, dreamt that at age 26 I would be submerged in poop on a daily basis!  So today, the story begins… with the one year old boy I watch.  He was supposed to be napping, and all of a sudden, I heard the rumble and knew it was that time once again.  Once I got him changed and back in bed, I sat down and wondered… is there someone else with a dirty diaper?  Why is that smell lingering?  I headed out on the hunt… and found it!  The two year old boy I watch had dirtied himself, and while laying under his blanket for nap… smeared it all over himself.  It was like a Picaso all over his belly.  Oh my gosh!  How will I ever clean this?  Is it ok to put him in the tub with bleach?  Wait, is that child abuse?  Ok, so I settle on Baby Magic (I assume that’s much more child friendly)  While I’m cleaning… and steam cleaning our loveseat, he soaks, and soaks, and soaks.  So, now he’s all cleaned and diapered, and dressed.  Wow, after that I’m feeling a little stressed, hell who am I kidding?  I need a DRINK at this point.  Instead I decide to go to my happy place, my computer chair.  From there I hear my two year, “Mommy… ahhh poooped.”  SHIT, AGAIN????   Before I can even respond I see a diaper… seemingly dry… flying into my lap from the kitchen doorway.  I quickly grabbed it and picked it up, and that’s when it happened, the turd rolled right out into my lap!  Ok seriously, at this point I’m on the verge of tears, my eyes were wet… but I fought it!  I would not let this get the best of me…  This tear will not fall!  I will not let the poo break me!