I honestly believe the things I’ve learned this weekend are things that must be shared! These just arent things that you can find in parenting, diet, or relationship books.
1 ) Once you are a parent, it is ok again to fall asleep with a jar of fireflies. (But only if you have a child with you!) When you wake up and realize what has happened, you will be grossed out and embarrassed that you slept with a jar of bugs in your bed!
2 ) Kids should not be allowed to eat raisins or corn before they are potty trained! This is especially true when you have a baby in cloth diapers. And NEVER EVER allow them to eat both of these forbidden foods on the same day! NEVER!
3 ) When you are remodelling, it will always, and I mean always take longer than expected. When you are remodelling something crucial, like a bathroom… it will take at least twice as long as you expected!
4 ) Diets work… IF you stay on them. However, I have learned that if you reward yourself for going on a walk with something like…..a chocolate shake, you will not lose a damn thing!
5 ) When you have kids fighting over fun colored mini marshmallows, do not be surprised when you hear yourself say, “No! Those do NOT go in the dryer!” Because we all know, that the dryer is the perfect place to hide treasures like these from your sister! (Can we all guess which daughter was hiding them? *Ella* )
6 ) For some strange reason it is absolutely adorable to see a handsome little one year old boy wearing a “Lock up your daughters” shirt… And for some reason, as a mom I was willing to pay money for the shirt to put on him. BUT… in several years he will probably actually deserve a shirt like that… and I will not be so proud!
7 ) Girls can go from being sweet and innocent at age four to being into fashion and accessories in a matter of a week. You will never even know what hit you! Indecisiveness and the NEED to try on 8 swimming suits will make your quick trip to pick up a suit turn into an all afternoon event! But watching her model and shake her booty in the fitting room will have you laughing your butt off… while you try to stop your other child from disappearing under the fitting room door in only her panties!
8 ) You think that after a baby turns one you dont need to worry about infant type things like thrush. BUT at age one, your son can get thrush… and it will hurt as bad as if he were two months!
9 ) When you try to do fun hands on learning things like growing a vegetable garden and um… raising chickens and ducks, do them separately (or at least in separate areas of the yard.) As of right now, the kids have not been able to witness anything actually grow from our garden. The tomatoes and broccoli will get to be about the size of a grape, and the next day they will have completely disappeared. Well, I guess if nothing else they are learning the importance of a fence!
10 ) Back to the chickens and the ducks… when big blue eyes look at you and ask for something as innocent as a baby chick you will have a REALLY hard time telling them no. The result will be three months later having a flock of poultry waddling around your yard. But it will be absolutely priceless to watch the kids chase them, take care of them, and learn how to say chicky and duck way before they would have otherwise!
11 ) You will know when you have a true blue best friend when she drives out of her way to go to your childs lemonade stand, pays your child $1 for a glass of lemonade instead of the .10 she had asked. But beyond that, she drinks the lemonade, comments about how good it is… and then quietly spits out the bits of sand that were in the last sip! (With a smile no less!)
12 ) When shopping for fabric for sundresses to wear camping (so they dont wreck the cute ones), do not let your girls pick out the fabric they want! This is a potentially embarrassing decision because……
your kids will end up wearing something with hideous prints like THESE!!!
And the last thing is too important to even get a number. Something about becoming a parent makes you completely lose your mind! All of a sudden, you are no longer the level headed person who would NEVER have a pet duck. You are no longer the rushed person heading in for one thing at the store and coming out three hours later with “the most perfect” swimming suit (on clearance for $3!) You are no longer the phobic person who constantly uses purel and screeches as the sight of a bug. Now you know a depth of love like no other! You know that you would go to the ends of the earth and beyond if it would put a smile on your childs face. I have learned that living in this house that is just too small for our growing family is absolutely where I am happiest… because this is where my family is. This is where we make unforgettable memories like seeing a bear, chasing fireflies, rolling in the grass, making mudpies, and looking at the stars in our jammas on the deck!
